I Have One of "Those" Kids

8:50 AM Posted by Natalie


You know, I've always feared Kyle going to school the most. I've considered him our most challenging child and have been glad that he is a November baby so that he gets that extra year before starting school. But as it turns out, Alec is proving to be quite a challenge himself. He is very bright and does really well academically, but lately his behavior has TANKED.

A few weeks ago, his teacher came out to the van to talk to me when I was picking the boys up. Apparently, he had been acting out in class and was taking the pencils off the teacher's desk and pulling out the erasers. That explained the pocketfuls of erasers I was finding while doing laundry. I had just assumed they were from his own pencils and kept forgetting to ask him about it. So he was grounded that weekend and I made him buy his teacher some new pencils with his own money, as well as write her an apology note.

The next week went fine. No bad reports. But then the following week a note came home. Once again, Alec was misbehaving in class, not listening to the teacher, and had written on his desk with his pencil. UGH!!! Once again he was punished at home and I sent a note to his teacher expressing our disappointment and our intention to do whatever we can to help correct this problem. I have my degree in elementary education, you know, and went through student teaching, so I am NOT one of "those" parents. Really. It is VERY important to me for our children to be well-behaved. This is just not acceptable to me.

So things were going along fine again. Until yesterday. Shaun had called from work to tell me he might not be able to pick up the boys from school because he was stuck at a robbery call and was waiting for their evidence technician to get there. He said he would call me by 2:30 to let me know one way or the other. I didn't look forward to having to get Lauren up from her nap, but if I had to go, I had to go. He called me back to tell me I'd have to go get them, then called back again a minute later to say the guy had gotten there and he could get them after all. Great! On Tuesdays and Thursdays they are having soccer after school, which Joey sometimes stays for. But, any children not participating have to be supervised, so we have to be there for Alec if Joey is staying. I thought Shaun would be able to get there by 3:15 (when all children have to be picked up).

As it turned out, he didn't get there until about 3:25, and by then it was too late. Alec did a doozie and got himself into some real trouble after school. One of the little girls ran up to Shaun and told him that Alec had gone pee and everyone had seen his "stuff". (Well, everyone who was around, including girls.) AAAHHHHH!!!!! If I had just picked them up instead, the whole incident probably could have been avoided. What are we going to do with this kid??? Awhile back, there was another incident in the bathroom when he showed his butt to one of his classmates in the bathroom. I SWEAR we don't encourage or permit this type of behavior. We really don't. I am so embarrassed at this point and wonder what the school and other parents are starting to think of us.

Shaun thinks he has an idea about what happened. Yesterday was a nice day and the kids were playing out after school as they often do. Somehow, Alec and the other kids he was playing with had gotten some kind of ceramic cups which they were using to carry water up onto the hill to pour out and make a "river." When the school secretary (and parent) saw what they were up to, she took the cups away. Shaun thinks that perhaps peeing was Alec's way of making his own "water". Either way, it was wrong and it was bad. Today he has detention.

What else can we do? I mean, we talk to him about these incidents, tell him it's wrong, and give him a punishment. Then he goes back to school and does something else stupid. Shaun wondered if perhaps he was egged on by other students. It's possible, as we know kids do that all the time, but Alec never assigns any blame to anyone else. Shaun said, "Well, Alec's not really that type of kid." But he is. He tattles on his brothers ALL the time. Unless somehow it's different when it's other kids? I wouldn't think so.

The only other thing I can think of to do is to start doing a sticker chart with Alec. For each day that he is good at school and we don't get any bad reports, he'll earn a sticker. If he gets one for every day that week, he will earn a reward. What do you think? Any suggestions for rewards? It has to be something appealing, but not costly, since it will be a weekly thing. One reward might be a trip to McDonald's. What other kinds of things could we do? Seriously, I need help here. If ever I needed some comments, it's now. Things can't continue this way. He's going to end up kicked out and I'm gonna have to homeschool him. HELP!!!


  1. Proud Parents of Halainah Grace said...

    Gee Nat, I wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but alas I have no experience in such matters.

    First of all I know you and your husband are fantastic parents. So I pray you are not blaming yourselves. And where is the shame in wanting to do what ever is necessary to help your child? Who cares what the other parents or teachers think. All that matters is what you guys think.

    The sticker charts sounds interesting. Maybe for a reward, you can bring your son to a five and below store? That's what there called here. They are a high end dollar store where all items are 5 buck or cheaper. It's a great store with really great items.

    My prayers are with you Nat.


  2. cbdkndmom said...

    Nat, if I didn't have one of *those* kids myself, I'd probably have more ideas. As it stands I'm at a total loss with mine. We should brainstorm together.